


End To Start

by suhyuck



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Music, DJ Suh Youngho | Johnny, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Found Family, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung & Lee Jeno Are Siblings, Loyalty, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Minor Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Minor Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Minor Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Rap Battles, References to Drugs, Slow Burn, Swearing, The Get Down AU nobody asked for, a lot of family relationships here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:54:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25428739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suhyuck/pseuds/suhyuck
Summary: Kim Doyoung had always been used to following rules and accepting the future his parents dreamt for him. But when he is forced to meet Seo, the hateful and repulsive Seo, and the unknown world of rap battles, Doyoung catches a glimpse of making his own hidden dream come true.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	1. scattered pieces

**Author's Note:**

> welcome, welcome, i hope you are ready to begin this whole journey but before you read it please know that:  
> \- there is no need to know about the Get Down series since everything will be explained and the TV show was just used as an inspiration.  
> \- this is a fiction story and the characters don't represent the real life people here mentioned.
> 
> i hope you like it!

_**New York,** _ **1981.**

There are a few scenarios that Doyoung had built in his head that he imagined as possible.

He had always seen himself older and fulfilling his dreams instead of following his father’s steps. It was a comforting rather encouraging image to picture as he made his way to the classes he didn’t want to attend. He also had thought about being recognized for his talents and about living abroad, very far from everything that kept him apprehensive at night. In the trail of his imagination, Doyoung had seen a life much more exciting than this. 

But one scenario Doyoung never thought about was the one where he let go of his best friend. 

And as he observed the twilight coloring the misty sky with shades of orange through Taeyong’s windows, Doyoung realized a new day was beginning. And it would be a lot different than the one left behind. 

“Doyoung” he heard Taeyong murmuring his name and sighed. “Doyoung, talk to me.”

“I have nothing to say to you, Taeyong.”

“Who is Taeyong? I only know Yongie.” Taeyong softly joked which made Doyoung turn around and walk towards Taeyong sitting on his bed. When he got close enough, Doyoung gave Taeyong a fake smirk and pressed the ice bag Taeyong was holding harder against the bruises on his forehead. Taeyong squirmed, feeling his skin burn and let out a gasp. “Stop, stop.”

“Are you going to keep making jokes about this?” Doyoung asked him.

“Only if you don’t talk to me.” Taeyong answered and Doyoung rolled his eyes before pressing the ice bag one more time. “Ouch! Ok, fine I’ll stop.”

Doyoung took his hand out of it and kept glaring at his friend. 

“Why don’t you understand me?” Taeyong mumbled under his breath.

“Because I’m really tired of trying to save your fucking ass when you get yourself in trouble.” Doyoung gave him a sharp answer and felt his chest pounding against his arms. “Every week is the same story. Every week you find a new stupid place to graffiti.”

“It’s not stupid! It’s not when it’s important to me!”

“You’re important to me, Taeyong!” Doyoung shouted back and breathed in. _ It’s five in the morning for God’s sake you will be expelled from the campus,  _ he thought before saying anything else. “You’re important, Taeyong, and your goals are also. But at the moment you walk through that door and put yourself in danger, your dreams become a life sentence.”

“So what, Doyoung?” Taeyong answered as he got up, looking straight to Doyoung’s dim brown eyes. “Do you really think that you’re going to achieve your dreams into your comfort zone?” He took one step at a time until he was close enough for his medium tone of voice sounded like a scream into Doyoung’s ears. 

“You can work this out slowly, you don’t need to get yourself arrested, bruised or worse.” 

“I don’t wanna see my life passing before my eyes, standing there doing no shit. I don’t wanna become..” Taeyong stopped on his track before he could complete his sentence but Doyoung got what he was about to say. He not only understood because he had known Taeyong for 10 years but also because it was about  _ him.  _

It was about  _ Doyoung _ himself. 

“Say it.” Doyoung challenged and Taeyong denied. “Say it, Taeyong!”

“I won’t, it’s-”

“Say that you don’t want to be the person who is afraid to run after his dreams. Say that you don’t want to be unhappy.” Doyoung felt his eyes watering and despised his sensitiveness. “Say that you don’t wanna become me, Taeyong, just say it already!” he cried loudly and forgot about the damn hour. 

“Doyoung…” Taeyong tried to get closer to the boy but he couldn’t. 

The almost declaration had already tear Doyoung away from him. 

Taeyong observed Doyoung grabbing the key to his dorm and saw the exact moment Doyoung gave up on him. The wet glare he gave him before talking one last time at that morning was enough. 

“Say that you don’t wanna become me but remember that I’m the only one who always cleans the fucking messes you make.” Doyoung snickered and shook his head, trying to dry the tears in his eyes. “I must be a terrible example indeed” he grumbled his last few words and turned around, getting himself out of the room just at the moment Ten was arriving with more ice bags. 

He tried to stop Doyoung but he received a terrible glare instead. Doyoung kept stomping towards his dorm, wishing he never got out of there. 

  
  
  
  


Every damn time Doyoung went after Taeyong, his friends would get worried. No, not about Taeyong because, at the end of the day he would be the same stupid risk-taker, the same guy who was always running away from the police. They would get worried about Doyoung getting back with a tired look and his shoulders down.

And when Doyoung crossed the door of his dorm, Taeil was already stood up in the middle of their room while Jungwoo and Kun lifted their heads to watch a puffy-eyed Doyoung getting in. His swollen and red cheeks didn't let his sadness get unnoticed by his friends and, before he could say anything, the "crisis group hug" was already happening. 

That was the moment Doyoung broke down completely. As he felt Taeil’s small arms on his neck, Jungwoo resting his chin on Doyoung’s shoulder and Kun caressing his hair. As he felt welcomed in the last room of what he could call his home. 

“I have to kill him, right?” Taeil asked, looking at Doyoung’s wet face. 

“We have a strong gang y’know?” Kun stated and saw a weak, small smile in Doyoung’s lips. 

“You and I, Kun.” Jungwoo recalled. “Taeil can only knock people down if he hits high notes.” he joked being slapped on his arms by Taeil and making Kun laugh while Doyoung tried to get into the joke. “But, hey hyung, you can talk to us about it. We’re actually here for you.”

Doyoung sighed and tried to wipe some tears that insisted on falling off his eyes. “Nothing new happened.”

“Really? Because you’re crying more than usual.” Kun said and received an angry stare from Jungwoo and Taeil. “What, it’s true. He can’t lie to us.”

“You’re not helping.” Taeil whispered. “But he’s not wrong though.” he turned to Doyoung who looked away. “Doyoung, what happened?”

“The same old shit.” he answered. “But…”

“But what, Do?” 

Doyoung scanned the looks on their faces and they all seemed worried.  “He said some things that hurt but nothing that it’s not true.” he explained and felt the tears trying to break free again. 

“What did he-”

“Can we not talk about this?” Doyoung interrupted Taeil. “I’m sorry, but I’m so tired. I haven’t slept yet and it’s 6 am.” 

The other three nodded in agreement and let Doyoung walk towards his bed. He sat there, observing the sky already clear from the dark night, but he couldn’t ignore his friends all sitting on Taeil’s bed detecting every move and every intention in Doyoung.  “What now?”

“We’re making sure you will sleep.” Kun said and Doyoung rolled his eyes. 

“With you staring at me like that I won’t sleep and you also have to sleep.” Doyoung retorted “And hey what are you doing here? Where will you sleep?”

“Hopefully, cuddling with Taeil.” Jungwoo winked at the friend by his side and Kun almost fell off the bed. 

“Relax, Do, Taeil is small enough to make a room for us two in his bed.” Kun joked.

“I’m literally just 5 centimeters smaller than you, dickhead .”

“Doesn’t change the fact I feel like the Snow White next to you, Dopey.” 

“Wow, wow, wow, you feel like the Snow White? So what am I?” Jungwoo inquired Kun with his arms crossed. 

“Clifford. Big, goof but also because of the red hair you tried to have.” 

“I feel flattered since your  _ eomma _ told me you loved to read it.” Jungwoo pouted his lips and got closer to Kun who just seemed disgusted. 

“That doesn’t mean I love you.” 

“Okay, kids, let’s go back to sleep. I’ll let you two decide your roleplay shit and sleep with Doyoung.” Taeil got up and lied down next to Doyoung, who wasn’t listening anymore to his friends' bickering and immersed into his own mind, while stared at the ceiling. 

Doyoung hated giving up. 

Ever since he was a child, Doyoung couldn’t stop until he finished to put together all the pieces of the endless puzzles he had. As a teenager, he wouldn’t sleep until he could understand all the subjects he had learned in the school at that same day and kept doing this in college. 

But a whole life of not giving up hadn’t taught him how to give up. 

At that moment, Doyoung was learning how to do it in the hardest way - without the person who had always helped him on the tough task of persisting. Taeyong was always there when he needed strength and he wasn’t there at that moment. As a matter of fact, Taeyong wasn’t being so much present ever since they got into college. It wasn’t something new for Doyoung to watch Taeyong slowly make his way out of Doyoung’s life but every time he was close to walking away, Doyoung ran after him and didn’t let him go.

But Taeyong seemed to have found the exit door and that was completely new for Doyoung. There was no other way instead of giving up, with all the pain and sorrow it could give him. As Doyoung lied down on his bed and saw the first beams of light illuminating the ceiling, he felt his heart following through the path of breaking completely. 

“Do” Taeil called him out of his worries. Just then Doyoung noticed his damp cheeks, drying them with the sleeves of his shirt, and turned to his friend. “Why don’t you give yourself the day off?”

“I can’t.” 

“Don’t bullshit me.” Taeil answered right away. “I saw in your schedule, there is nothing important in classes today and you don’t have any absence.”

“But-”

“No butts besides my beautiful one.” Taeil interrupted and Doyoung suppressed a laugh. “I’m serious if I see you waking up in two hours, I’ll knock yourself down.”   


“Sure, Dopie.” Doyoung mocked and Taeil slapped him on the arm. “Ok, ok, stop I won’t go.” 

“Good, now let’s sleep because I couldn’t rest with those two invading our room.” Taeil said, putting an arm around Doyoung chest and his head on his shoulder. Taeil wasn’t the biggest fan of skinship and when he did something like that, Doyoung knew it was a demonstration of his concern. 

It didn’t take a long time for Taeil to be the first to sleep and, as soon as Jungwoo and Kun stop teasing each other, Doyoung was left alone one more time with nothing but the duality of the sunlight and his dark thoughts. 

  
  
  


The thing about Fridays that Doyoung enjoyed the most was seeing his friends decide where would they go. Waking up to the sounds of Jungwoo jumping on Taeil’s bed, made Doyoung realized they were already planning the night event. The sun was already going down when Doyoung listened to his friend shout:

“DJ Naka is going to play on Neo Zone tonight!” 

“Is this the DJ you saw there when you hook up with….” Kun remembered and got hit by a pillow on the face. Taeil really thought that Kun had some neurons missing. 

“Is this the DJ you saw there last time, right, Woo?” Taeil fixed Kun’s ask and the other silently nodded. 

“Yes! He is amazing, he has the newest records of the time somehow and he is very hot.” Jungwoo answered, not even hearing what Kun tried to say and searched for Doyoung. “How come I went to walk around the campus and you’re still sleeping?”

“How come you went out just to walk around the campus and not stayed sleeping?” Doyoung mocked and Jungwoo sticked his tongue out before getting in bed next to his friend. 

“Are you ready to shake your beautiful ass on the dance floor tonight?” Jungwoo asked pouting his lips and blinking as he rested his chin on Doyoung’s pillow.

“Well, I wasn’t counting on going out. We could just stay here and listen to the radio y’know.”

“While you cry your heart out? No fucking way, Do” Kun said. “I agree with Woo, we have to go out tonight and forget about all our shit.”

“I also agree with Woo.” Taeil declared and everybody looked at him. “What?”

“You? Agreeing with me? Now that’s new” Jungwoo responded.

“See, Do, we’re uniting clans here just for you.” 

“Shut up, Kun, it doesn’t matter I’m not going.” Doyoung answered getting up from the bed. 

“C’mon Doyoung, you really think is a good idea to spend the rest of your friday night inside this dorm crying because of that stupid asshole?” Taeil questioned him. 

“Ah...yes?”

“No!” the other three in the room answered in unison.  “It’s even worse for you to be here because one” Jungwoo started showing his arguments “you’re going to be alone with your thoughts and we all know it’s not a good thing when you start to think”

“You know I think every day right?

“Let me finish, Kim Doyoung!” Jungwoo shouted, making Kun laugh. “So, as I was saying, this is no good. Two, I have talked about DJ Naka ever since last summer it’s really unfair to me” he whined a little bit and Doyoung rolled his eyes.

“How are you so sure he is playing tonight?” 

“I’ve just come across Jimin of Design who is there every friday, I trust him.” Jungwoo explained “And three, but not least, what if Taeyong has the same idea of you and stay at his dorm and try to find you in the middle of the night? Who you gonna call to help you out?” he waited for answers and Doyoung just shrugged.  “No one! And you’re going to be angrier than before if you even look at his face.”

Doyoung then got up from the bed and paced around the room. There were heavy odds against staying at the dorm as Jungwoo remarked but Doyoung was only thinking about the cons of going out. He didn’t imagine spending his friday in a club, drinking a lot to forget about his problems and dancing the night away. What if his dad somehow discovers about this? What if everything went wrong tonight? 

But what if Doyoung dropped everything and made the most of this night? Doyoung, who cared about everyone but himself. Doyoung, who didn’t enjoy a night out for a long time. 

This Doyoung searched for his friends waiting with attentive eyes and said “Ok, I’m in”

Jungwoo jumped on the bed, hopping around, while Kun was cheering and Taeil was coming for a big hug. Doyoung laughed it out with all his heart and enjoyed the moment, wishing he could freeze it.

“Ok, we have to start getting ready because we take too long and before we can get drunk I want to eat something.” Taeil stated, heading to the bathroom. 

“Me and Jungwoo will get our things in our dorm.” Kun said and Jungwoo followed him.

“Don’t you dare think I won’t put a super fine eyeshadow in those beautiful eyes, honey” Jungwoo told Doyoung before getting out of the room. Doyoung smirked a little bit and sat next to the phone on the nightstand, ready to make a phone call. He asked if Taeil wanted to talk with the boys and he answered a big no from inside of the shower. 

Doyoung waited for a while until he could hear a lot of people talking on the other side of the line. 

“ _ Hello?”  _ he heard a familiar ringing voice.

“Donghyuck?” 

“ _ The one and only”  _ he answered and Doyoung could hear some really loud giggles behind. 

“It’s Doyoung, pass for Jeno.” 

“ _ Oh, hi cuz, Doyoung-hyung, how are you feeling? I’m feeling fine thanks for asking. Yes I’ll get your brother, do you want anything els-” _

_ “Hey, Do”  _ Doyoung heard the voice of his brother in a breathy tone interrupting Donghyuck.

“Jeno, are you ok?”

“ _ I’m fine, hyung, don’t worry. The boys are all here in my dorm and we’re….hey shut up, Chenle….sorry, they’re being loud because of” _

“Because…”

“ _ Oh, they’re playing a terrible game as usual, y’know? Typical friday night.“  _ Jeno’s unsteady voice explained.

“I see…”

“ _ Hey, Do, you are ok? Why didn’t I see you today at lunch?”  _ Jeno questioned his brother. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I was feeling kind of sick and didn’t want to eat so I skipped it.”

_ “I see…” _ Jeno imitated Doyoung and giggled. “ _ I imagined you were not feeling fine ‘cause Taeyong-hyung asked how were you.” _

Doyoung froze. “Taeyong asked about me?”

“ _ Uhm yeah he did, he was looking for you but I didn’t know anything so…” _

“Ah, ok. Well, I just wanted to let you know I’m going out tonight.”

“ _ You? Going out? Wow” _

_ “Doyoung-hyung is going out? Oh man, what the f-” _

“Tell Mark I’m listening” Doyoung stated, rolling his eyes. ”Yes, I’m going out and I need you to be prepared if dad calls looking for me ok?”

“ _ Oh...oh yeah, sure, don’t worry, Do, I got you.”  _

Doyoung watched Taeil getting out of the bathroom with a towel on his waist and knew it was time for him to hang up. “Hey, Jen, I gotta get going. Take care, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

_ “Ok, Do, for the last time don’t worry about me. Go have fun”  _ it was the last thing Doyoung heard Jeno saying before he got up and start getting ready. 

  
  
  


One of the main reasons New York’s beauty was different by night was because of the diversity of flicker lights that shone from every building, every lamppost, every store but also from every person. The night owls of the city passed by brightening the way. 

Inside of Miss Morales’s cab, Jungwoo, Kun, Taeil and Doyoung were gleaming as they laughed and enjoyed Barry White playing on the radio. 

“But I mean it, you’re _muy_ _guapos_ , tonight, boys, I know you’re about to get some.” she affirmed, making Kun hug her from the backseat.

“That’s the plan, Miss Morales, that’s the plan”

“Especially Doyoung, right there. Boy, you shining tonight.”

“Thank you, Miss Morales, but I think I'm better off on my own.” Doyoung answered her.

“Mira, pendejo, if you turn down a huge opportunity tonight, I’ll let these boys kick your ass.” she shot those words and the rest of the boys started rooting for her, clapping and shouting out loud.

“Oh Miss Morales, you’re the best” Jungwoo declared and kissed her cheek. “But listen to her, Do, you’re not just a piece of cake you’re the whole meal, honey.”

“Sorry I’m not on your menu” Doyoung shoot back, making everybody in the car boost for the fake argument, and he was glad he could hide well the fact he was not that excited or confident, even though his clothes pleased him. 

A silk button-down shirt in deep blue sky color showed part of his chest and his legs were covered by a white bell-bottom. He also liked the thin golden choker on his neck that Jungwoo obliged him to wear and the dark blue boots approved by all of his friends. Doyoung enjoyed how he looked, after all, but something was off. Perhaps it was himself but he took out the bad idea of his mind.

They continued shouting and drinking from Kun’s special mix - as he liked to call the fuse of many drinks that in the end made no sense at all besides when you wanted to get drunk - until they could see the neon sign with “Neo Zone” written in big curvy letters. There were many people with their shinings outfits and great smiles on the line to get inside. Ms. Morales pulled over and they got out of the car after Jungwoo took a long sip of the rest of their drink as they said their goodbyes to the cabby. 

They walked at the end of the line and could already hear the loud music playing inside Neo Zone. While they waited and waited and waited and the line got even bigger than it was some minutes before, they saw many people cutting in line after talking with the security guard until Jungwoo had an idea.

“I could get us in” he suggested.

“How? Because you’re a fan of DJ Naka?” Taeil mocked.

“No, you stupid. I may know the name of an important guy around here.” Jungwoo whispered in their little circle 

“Then you go there and try while we keep saving our place here just in case your plan doesn’t work.” Kun said. 

“OK, Doyoung come with me.” Jungwoo accepted and pulled Doyoung with him before he could complain. 

As they got closer to the entrance with Jungwoo explaining Doyoung his plan, Doyoung noticed a familiar person talking with the security. He was gesturing a lot and Doyoung knew he saw that jacket somewhere before. The man at the door smiled at the boy and let him in but before Jungwoo had a chance to start talking with the security guard, Doyoung and the boy exchanged a look. Doyoung recognized him not because he has seen him before on his college or as a person who usually passed by him. The boy was the last person Doyoung thought he would be seeing that night because seeing him didn’t mean a carefree night. 

“Mark?”


	2. fever night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys this is the chapter 2 and i hope you all like it.
> 
> here is the link to the fanfic playlist if you'd like to hear it: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Ranv6Eve7mb9JLLEwp8RW?si=VhbLkomJT3maQegmjHtMjQ
> 
> thanks and enjoy!

The first thing Doyoung realized when he got in the club was the colorful strobe lights that made patterns on the dance floor and the giant disco ball reflecting the light at any direction. But unfortunately, none of this amazed him and it wouldn’t until he could understand why Lee Mark was there and, mostly, if his own brother was with him. Doyoung knew it wasn’t the right place for Jeno.  _ He doesn’t even like disco _ Doyoung thought while searched through the crowd for any familiar face. 

“Do, let’s go grab a drink. Maybe Mark can be at the bar right now” Kun suggested and Doyoung nodded, while they walked down the glass stairs. 

As they passed by the dance floor, Doyoung inspected all the people trying to find what he wanted but failed and only noticed they already were at the bar when he heard a loud cheer from Jungwoo. 

“Xiao, how are you?” he shouted to be heard even with the loud music playing and the barman smiled at him. His blond dyed hair smoothed all the sharp expression of his thick brown eyebrows and he didn’t seem older than any of them but it was possible to see the mature look he had in his eyes. 

“Fine but you were gone and I missed you” he kissed Jungwoo’s hand. 

Jungwoo grinned at him saying “I’ve been busy but tonight I want to get off y’know?” which made Doyoung roll his eyes. That wasn’t the time to be flirty. 

“Yeah and I see you’ve got company huh?”

“Oh, these are my friends. Guys, this is the best barman and cocktail maker I know”

“Hey, I thought I was the best” Kun outraged and Jungwoo laughed.

“Are you really that good?” Xiaojun asked and Kun nodded. “I appreciate the good ones and they become my friends not my enemies” 

The boy extended his hand and Kun took it. “I already like you then” Kun answered. Taeil waved at the man and Doyoung nodded simply, already focusing on the people around them which made Kun raise his eyebrows at Jungwoo who got the message.

“Have you seen a little man around with blonde dyed bangs, a headband with a strange dark pattern on and a leather jacket?” 

“Yo, I do see a lot of these y’know?” Xiaojun answered, grabbing Doyoung’s attention. “But you should know you can get involved with these anymore, Jungwoo.”

“We have to talk with him.”

“I’m telling you, Woo. These kinds of gangsters don’t come here like you do. They just come when they want to talk with someone, not to enjoy the night.”

“And do you know who they usually talk to?” Doyoung couldn’t stop with the interrogation even though he didn’t know the man enough to trust him for information. 

Xiaojun sighed and shook his head. “It varies, man. Sometimes it’s a local one who is here every week, sometimes it’s a gate-crasher, you never know.” He turned his attention to Doyoung and said “Look, I’m gonna bring you some booze but you should forget about this.” the barman turned around to prepare the drinks and Doyoung looked at his friends. He could also recognize his concern in Taeil’s eyes.

“Do you think Jeno and Donghyuck are with him? Or even Jisung?” Taeil asked in a mumble and Doyoung just shrugged. 

He looked at Kun who sighed.  “I hope Renjun is back at his dorms, too”

Doyoung really didn’t know what to expect to find there and that frightened him. He tried to peer through the mob of people and only found dancers owning every music, drinkers draining the cups and lovers fooling themselves. Doyoung was plotting how to find his brother, his cousin and their friends when Xiaojun came back with the drinks. 

“Four Tequilas Sunrises” he announced as he delivered four highball glasses with an orange gradient liquid. 

“I think I’ll regret drinking this later” Kun joked as he took the glass in his hand and took a sip of the cocktail. “Wow, dude, that’s good.”

“Bet you won't regret it” Xiaojun winked at him. “I have to make other drinks but if you need anything, you already know me.” the barman slowly walked to the other side of the bar, leaving the boys. 

“C’mon, are we really going to be stand up here all night?” Jungwoo whined. “This ain’t a place to be slack.”

“We are here to dance, my friends” Kun reminded, putting his arms on Taeil and Doyoung’s shoulders. “Listen, if they are here, we’re not gonna find them where we are.” Taeil and Doyoung exchanged looks between themselves and Doyoung nodded before Taeil pulled his friends to the dance floor, with the other two celebrating. Even though Doyoung was too worried to enjoy anything, he wouldn’t let the night of his friends be ruined by his endless distress and he knew Taeil thought the same. 

Doyoung chugged the drink in a long sip and felt the liquid burning his throat before getting rid of the glass. When they made it to the dance floor, Doyoung could finally see the DJ that Jungwoo mentioned repeatedly. The man with long grey hair strands had a black kerchief around his head and an intense expression on his face. The way he changed between the trucks, how he played the vinyl, every movement of his exhaled the fervor running down his blood. It was impossible not to notice his striking power and obvious determination even more for someone like Doyoung who could see and understand all the passion for music reflecting in DJ Naka’s eyes. 

The man softly changed the tunes to ABBA and Jungwoo started shouting out loud and dancing gracefully in the middle of the dance floor, gaining everybody’s attention. Taeil laughed, joining the fun and Kun announced he would get more drinks as Jungwoo took Doyoung’s hand and spun his friend around. Even though Doyoung knew he wasn’t in the mood for this, he wouldn't bail on him.

Because after all Doyoung was supposed to take care of himself. Only for that night. 

Doyoung let the music play through his body and swung with the rhythm. It has been so long since he went out, had fun and danced all night that the pleasure made him shiver down on the spine with his eyes closed and his veins heated. The melody echoed in his ears and traveled all the way down his chest. He could feel his heart pounding in sync with the beat and his soul was fed with the songs. 

His mind, on other hand, was still trying to win all his worries in an everlasting battle. 

Before he could think about it, Kun was back with some drinks explaining how he liked his new friend, Yang, the waiter. “He told me he would bring us more drinks here and put on our bar bill” 

“Does this mean we get VIP treatment?” Jungwoo asks while he chewed the neon straw. 

“Yeah, I know my way around.” Kun winked and they celebrated. 

The minutes passed and the way the songs were breezily mixed left Doyoung with the gradual feeling of unwinding - or maybe it was all the cocktails he downed in one go in less than half an hour. He could already see Kun flirting with a guy from where he was, checking the man out, and Taeil dancing loosely with a new friend - Yoohyeon? Nayeon? Doyoung couldn’t remember. But the most concerning case was Jungwoo who was shaking his body faster than he should and closing his eyes like he was getting drunker just by listening to the music. 

Doyoung was thanking the Yang guy for one more cocktail when he saw a usual figure approaching DJ Naka onstage. The man whispered in the DJ’s ear after he took down the headphones and he nodded as he continued playing the songs. His friend stayed for a while after bringing his head up and aimed his eyes straight at Doyoung’s direction as if he found his target and hit it perfectly. 

And as if Doyoung got shot, he registered the honey-brown eyes on his mind like a bruise that could never heal. The impressive tall man didn’t change his passive expression but couldn’t let go that easily of Doyoung’s look and Doyoung saw when he shook his head and climbed the stairs to what it seemed the VIP cabins. But before he could see the man fading away behind the curtains, Doyoung saw the same pattern of Mark’s headband in a ribbon tied on the man’s arm. He scanned the stairs once more and searched for his friends. When he found Jungwoo, he was dancing around Taeil who was trying to calm him down. Kun was right beside him asking something to the waiter. 

“Doyoung, thank god, you have to help me out.” Taeil stated as he was being spun by Jungwoo. 

Doyoung called him out. “Jungwoo, I need your help with something.”

“In what? Kissing someone? I can get you anyone you want.” Jungwoo answered with a wide smile on his face.

“No, I need you to help me get to the VIP up there, I think Mark is there and maybe the boys too.” Doyoung explained to all of the three ”but you have to stop the drinks right now.”

“Oh that won’t be possible.” he giggled around and Kun held him before he fell. 

“Why? Ain’t The VIP security your friend as you said?” Taeil remembered.

“Yeah but I can’t stop drinking, hyungie.” Jungwoo whined and Doyoung almost felt hopeless.

“Oh God I’ll kill him.” Kun shut his eyes and massaged his temples.    


“Listen, Woo, you have to take me there, ok? We can see if the boys are there and you know how me and Kun are worried right?” Doyoung explained looking at Jungwoo’s eyes and he gently smiled. 

“The drinks there are  _ way  _ fancier anyway” Jungwoo expressed with his whole body before he caught Doyoung by the hand who could just indicate with his head the way to Kun and Taeil. 

As they made their way to the stairs, Doyoung couldn’t understand why Jungwoo was marching without giving a hint of stopping before he could climb the stairs - and that was exactly what he did. Jungwoo, and consequently, the boys passed by the first security on the bottom of the stairs and walk them up without looking behind. Doyoung almost let the man block his way if it wasn’t for the firm grip of Jungwoo on his arms and all of them got on the top of the stairs where they found another towering and strong man avoiding the entrance. 

“Names.” the man murmured. 

“Oh, I’m not on the list but we have a serious business to discuss here.” Jungwoo stated as if he wasn’t drunk. 

“How he switched to sober so fast?” Kun asked in a whisper on Doyoung’s ear and the other shrugged. 

“You can’t get in without the invitation or the name, sir.”

“But I got invited.” Jungwoo affirmed and got closer to the man. “Or are you going against the words of our dear Jae?” 

The security gulped before shutting his eyes and clear the way for them. Jungwoo slowly opened the curtains and a misty ambient was revealed. Doyoung held the urge to inspect the place and looked like a kid on the first day of school. There were fewer people than down at the club since the space was quite reserved but there was still a crowd of luxurious shirts and fancy dresses. Some could be seen drinking champagne glasses, another were playing bingo and Doyoung saw with his own eyes that the heavy smoke was not coming from a fog machine. It was a whole other place and Doyoung knew he and the boys looked like outsiders, though it didn’t take so long for Jungwoo to cover up their situation. 

He went straight to the bar and called the barman, who exhaled a royalty vibe, a name Doyoung could swear it was Henry. They chatted for a bit and Doyoung waited while Kun listened carefully to what the man was saying and Taeil scanned the place. 

“So, seen any new faces around?” Jungwoo asked in the most flirtatious tone with a hand on his chin. 

The man tilted his head. “Actually I did today. See, there’s this new group of kiddos searching for Jae all the time I don’t know if they want to join the gang or some favor from them but they seemed thrilled.” 

Doyoung stared at the man talking and processed the words he had just heard.  _ Kiddos, gang _ . This couldn’t be them but all the hints lead Doyoung to think that the boys he swore to protect were putting themselves at great risk. 

“And they're here?”

“I’m not sure if they’ve already left but if they’re still here, they should be at Jae’s cabin.” the man informed and Jungwoo turned to Doyoung, giving him a side hug. 

“Oh, great, I’ll see if I can get to know them,” Jungwoo replied with a smirk. “Jae should be waiting for me already I should get going. Thank you for the drink, darling.” 

Jungwoo chug the red liquid and shook his head before he could explain “I think you can now go and see if the boys are here."

“You can? Did you lose your mind? They're gangsters for god’s sake.” Taeil whispered to his friends. “We can't just knock on their door and asked 'hey did you see a group of kids that shouldn't be here with you because you are fucking dangerous?'.”

“Yeah and you seem to know them, you can get us there, Woo.” Kun stated. "And also who the hell is Jae, will you not tell us?"

“I can’t tell you right now, long story, but here is the thing," Jungwoo whispered. "you get close to that silver curtains, listen to what they're talking but do not get in" 

"And what if we see them?" Doyoung required.

"Come to me and I'll talk to them" 

"Well, I'll stay here with Jungwoo and stop him from drinking more" Taeil announced and Doyoung agreed, searching for Kun's confidence. As he found it in his kind eyes, Doyoung knew they were ready to do what they got to do. 

Pacing around the room, Doyoung and Kun pretended as if the place was a usual spot for them to drink sweet margaritas and whisper business subjects in a round or two of poker. Kun even grinned at a table of old men who smoked big cigars and analyzed them with hungry eyes from head to toe and he winked before dodging from their eyesights. Doyoung next to him strutted as if he wasn't listening to the uncertainty of his own thoughts, and silently thanked the others in the room being distracted by the alcohol, games and the weed fog. 

Getting next to the private cabin was easier than they thought. There was no security around and Doyoung thought because the VIP part was supposed to be an only close acquaintance to the owners. He checked the nearby one more time and glanced Kun, receiving a look of encouragement. They got closer to the curtains and saw smooth silhouettes before concentrating in identify any familiar voice. In between ecstatic cheers and vibrant laughs, some words could be distinguished.

“Ok, let’s not scare the kiddos.” a silvery voice echoed in Doyoung’s ears and the owner paced around. The figure was broad and stuck out behind the curtains as his prominent words took over the place. “It ain’t right leaving them in the shadows about the great gift we are about to give them, right, Na?”

“Damn right, man, this is the turning point of your lives” another ringing voice joined the conversation. “Do you know what I am talking about? Or TY didn’t give you hints about tonight?”

“TY is busy I don’t think he cared to tell the kids.” the first person answered and they all laughed before a sound of something light being thrown emerged from the other side of the cabin. 

_ TY _ , Doyoung thought,  _ that name is not something new.  _ But he didn’t recall from where he knew a TY. 

“Stop being such a tease and tell them, they seem too amped to know.” a third voice appeared. 

“Ok, ok. So kids, I think TY told you something about this. But I need to know you first before you join our group.”

“What is this group anyway? A gang?” Kun commented in a whisper and Doyoung slightly slapped his arm, shushing him. 

“And for that, we will take you to see the get down.”

“Really?” a high-pitched voice took over the place and giggles and claps could be heard very loudly. 

“Calm down, kids. We want to see your talents first. Joining the battle is a whole other story, ‘kay?” the man spoke and the others seemed to agree since there was no one trying to argue. “Next Friday. We meet here, drink a little, join the dance floor down there and head to the get down after.” a person cheered with a loud woohoo and they all laughed again. 

“But remember to be confident about what you got. I don’t want to hear any stutters, especially you mister wordsmith.” 

“Trust me, I can do this.”

Then there was the familiar tone. But it belonged to someone rather different than they expected. Doyoung gaped at Kun and felt his blood boiling. 

Because it wasn’t Mark who answered. 

It was _Jeno._

And Doyoung couldn’t control himself. 

He stomped into the cabin after opening brutally the curtains and found his little brother sitting next to Mark and Renjun, who also received a scold from Kun. “Jeno?”

“Doyoung what are you doing here?” Jeno got up in a jump and gawped his brother. 

“I should be the one asking what the fuck are you doing here with-” Doyoung stopped himself as he found the people Jeno was talking to seconds ago. It was the man from downstairs who caught Doyoung’s eyes with his honey ones and now stared at him in the same way. But Doyoung didn’t act so hypnotized like before. “What do you want from him?”

“Wow, take it easy, little prince.” the towering man answered. “No stress”

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Doyoung inquired looking straight at his face.

“Someone who can get you out of here in a flash, sweetie.” the man mocked with a cynical smirk playing on his plump lips. 

“ _Doyoung_ ” someone called but got ignored as Doyoung started to get angrier. 

“And should I know you?”

“ _Doyoung_.”

“If you don’t know, now you do.” the man answered, naturally cracking his neck as he analyzed Doyoung from head to toe. “I’m Seo and I think you are a person who ain’t on the VIP list.” he whispered closer to the boy in front of him. 

“ _Doyoung_.” the voice kept calling but it was not like Doyoung was listening. 

“Well you see,” Doyoung pointed out in a clear tone. “the little prince knows his way around, big guy.” 

“So you must know your way out too, right? It’s better if you get the hell out of here before I need to toss your ass with my bare hands.” 

“I would never let you toss me.” Doyoung declared with a clenched jaw and saw the man snorting before staring deep down at Doyoung. 

“Doyoung!” the voice became louder and interrupted the argument by startling Doyoung who turned around and saw the last person he wanted to meet. 

“Taeyong?” 

“Do, what are you-.” Taeyong got closer to Doyoung, alternating his eyes between his old friend - or at least someone who used to be his friend - and Seo. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Yeah, and Jeno, Mark, Donghyuck and every one of them shouldn’t either and they are here, too.” Doyoung snapped and found guilt in Taeyong’s lowering gaze, realizing what happened. “It was you who brought them here?”

“There’s a reason wh-”

“Why you push them to your huge fucking mess?” Doyoung interrupted shouting at the top of his lungs and clenched his fists which got worse and hurt his own palms as he noticed Ten standing right behind Taeyong. 

“Cuz, you shouldn’t worry so much about this.” Ten appealed for calmness with his soft tone and Doyoung sighed. 

The huge difference between the Kim family was between the eldest cousins. Kim Doyoung and Kim Chittaphon were two sides of the same coin. Ten was the freedom Doyoung didn’t learn. Doyoung was the compass Ten didn’t know how to use. Growing up, Doyoung taught Ten the proper directions while Ten instructed Doyoung in breaking the handcuffs. 

But, through the years, neither one of these tasks had succeeded. 

“If you and Taeyong want to bring Donghyuck and Mark here, ok but Jeno is my brother you don’t tell me how to deal with him” Doyoung disagreed with his cousin who rolled his eyes at him. 

“I’m just saying that Jeno is not underage anymore he can do what he wants.” 

“And besides, this will be good for him, just let us explain to you” Taeyong tried to defend the young boy with puppy eyes who divided his attention between his brother and the whole crew around them who didn’t seem to enjoy the whole scene. 

“You don’t even know what’s good for you how can you know this is good for him?” Doyoung barked back and took a heavy step forward. Someone held his body with strong arms, preventing a physical fight, and Doyoung tried to get rid of them. Looking over his shoulders, he could see Seo restraining his movements. “Let me go!”

“What’s happening here?” an emerald green-haired man approached and glared at Doyoung. 

“Let me go, Seo.” Doyoung ordered one more time. 

“I could let you go but outside and you would never come back here. “ Seo growled back. 

“Who is him?” another man inquired with a grin as it was the funniest moment of the night. Doyoung saw the same pattern he found with Seo and Mark printed on the sleeve of his black jacket. 

“Please leave him, we will get out of here as soon as you let us.” Kun tried to arrange with Seo as another racket started in the chaotic cabin. 

“Doyoung?” Taeil plodded in the room towards his friend. 

“Jungwoo?” the man who previously grinned took the smile out of his face and stiffened his posture when he detected the person in front of him. 

“Lucas?” Jungwoo disbelieved in what he was seeing, his shaky voice betraying himself. He stumbled next to the man he’d just called and Taeil tried to reach for him, as Jungwoo struggled to keep his balance. Meanwhile, Doyoung flailed in Seo’s arms and Kun brought his brother and Jeno next to him, while arguing with Ten. 

Jungwoo couldn’t quite distinguish what was going on besides him and was attracted to the man in front of him who was a ghost that haunted his dreams at night and lived in his heart by day. His throat went drier and his disturbed vision focused on the face he’d never forgotten. 

In the same second Jungwoo locked his eyes with Lucas, his skin turned in translucence, losing all his color and even his lips were barely being shown. One step backward was all it took to Jungwoo to fell in Taeil’s arms before he could ask for help. Taeil couldn’t hold his friend’s long slim body and lowered him on the ground. Doyoung broke loose and sprinted to his friend laying down on the floor. His head was spinning as he slightly slapped Jungwoo’s pale face. 

“C’mon, Jungwoo, wake up.” Doyoung begged. 

Kun exchanged looks with Taeil, whose body was immobile as he held Jungwoo’s head, and nodded, taking Jisung and Jaemin under his wings just as he did to the others before. 

“Where are you taking us?” Jaemin inquired with arms crossed. 

“I’m going to take you to my home or else I’ll tell your parents about this.” 

Jaemin took Jeno’s hand and quietly looked down as Kun stormed out of the room to find a cab. Jeno turned around and saw his brother shaking Jungwoo’s body. The moment he saw Seo’s hand making his way to Doyoung’s shoulder, he knew the chaos would restart. 

“Don’t you dare touch me.” Doyoung yelled, getting up in a jump. 

“I’m ‘bout to offer you some help, sweetheart, calm down.”

“I don’t need your help.” Doyoung howled. “Any of yours, actually.” 

He took Jungwoo’s arm, passing through his shoulder, as Taeil did the same and they got up with the motionless body of their friend. They made their first steps towards the way out and Lucas tried to stop them.

“Don’t.” Seo held his arm in front of the man and stared at him. “Let them go.”

Those were the last words Doyoung heard before he strode across the room, without looking back at the whole mess he left behind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter some other things will be explained. bye, see you soon <3


	3. close to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> on the day after the Neo Zone incident...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! sorry for not posting for a while but now im back and i hope you like this chapter.
> 
> tw minor minor drugs and alcohol mentions.
> 
> ps seoul town is a creation of fiction!
> 
> have a nice read!!

Johnny Suh paraded through the refurbished shed that once, he recalled, was an abandoned area with nothing but rats and dust. He remembered the first time he had stepped there and, as a kid, he had always been afraid of the dark. With a whole heart full of fear, his trembling hand held the big and strong one that belonged to Lee Daejung, the owner of the words he would never forget.

“Don’t worry, little one.” the man had grinned at him. “From darkness, we can create light.”

And as Johnny paced around, greeting the people, seeing their delighted and grateful faces as they ate their breakfasts before a long day of work, he knew that Daejung had always been right. Deep down, he had ever known that Seoul Town - the small borough in New York where Koreans housed after getting in the United States - needed someone taking care of them such as Daejung was so used to doing. The necessity of having someone who stood up for them and their rights had always been part of his motivation and Johnny, who was born and raised afraid of the authority repression, admired him for that. He perceived as he strolled at his block how his people didn’t get represented by the politicians who promised wonders and supplied misfortunes. That’s the whole reason why the Lees did what they did - and it was the same reason why Johnny understood ever since he was a child that they weren’t the bad guys. 

“You are up with the lark today.” he heard the oldest Lee son calling him from up the stairs as he made his way to the second floor. 

Johnny rolled his eyes as he smirked “And you are never here to know that I’m always the first to arrive.” Taemin patted his head and led his long-time friend to the meeting room where everyone should already be to the morning reunion.

Opening abruptly, Taemin massaged Johnny’s shoulders with his soft hands and grinned fondly. “He’s here finally.”

“We thought you were busy y’know.” Jaehyun commented and Johnny shook his head. 

“The bakery was packed, man.” Yuta and Jaehyun sighed as they handed Lucas a dollar each. “What is this?”

“We bet on why you were late and we lost ‘cause we thought you were hooking up with someone from last night” Yuta explained as Lucas put the money in his jacket pockets. 

Johnny sat next to Lucas “Couldn’t I be with someone?”

“You could but we all know you were too busy thinking about The Get Down plans to get laid, bro.” Lucas pointed out hugging Johnny’s shoulders. “But nothing stops you to be really back at the game.”

“Bold of you to assume the big bad Seo had ever left the game.” Taemin joked and they all burst out laughing. 

The truth was Johnny had always seen that place as his own home and the Lee’s as his own family. He grew up together with Taemin and remembered the day Jaehyun was born. They were both there to go through every crisis together and some years later, Yuta joined the group as if they had always been waiting for him specifically. They had grown and dreamt about a bright future together but the reality didn’t let them dream and woke them up to real life. At a very young age, the four started doing small works for Taemin and Jaehyun’s father and learned the risks of not coming from a traditional and wealthy family. Not much later they took Lucas under their wings when he needed the most and the gang didn’t need anybody else. 

Until now. 

“Did you get to decide if the preps are going to The Get Down next week?” Yuta questioned and lighted the joint between Johnny’s lips. 

Johnny shrugged as he took a deep drag. “I guess so.”

Yuta frowned. “You guess? C’mon, if they are not there, we won’t join the competition.” he took the joint out of Johnny who rolled his eyes.

“Don’t get nervous, they will come around, man.” Johnny affirmed. “They need us more than we need them.”

Yuta sighed deeply and was on the verge of roaring at his friend when someone else entered the room and all of five turned their attention to him. The man arrived in featherweight steps but his presence was prominent by his imposing height and the two men behind him, armed to the teeth. Everything in Lee Daejung’s features declared coarseness, yet his small grin betrayed him. 

“Sons, did you have fun last night?” Daejung asked as he sat on a brown leather armchair between the two couches where the boys were. 

“I don’t know if we can call it fun,  _ appa _ .” Jaehyun snorted. “But everything will be solved soon.” 

Daejung nodded and let his two bodyguards find somewhere to sit. “As long as you don’t break anything from my disco I hope you get whatever you need” he gave Lucas a scolding look and the boy widened his eyes. 

Lucas shook his head “This will be nothing like last summer I swear, sir.” 

“Little does Daejung know your summer love is back” Johnny whispered in a tease and Lucas punched his arm without Daejung noticing. The leader got up from his seat and grabbed the whiskey bottle out of the shelf. 

“Do you already know what you have to do tonight, right?” the five of them agreed and he took a sip from the dry oaky liquid. “Kai and Baek will be around at your disposal if you need anything or get spotted. Don’t take so long at swapping the shifts, 2 hours for each round.” 

Taemin tilted his head at his father. “Do you think we will need more than two hours to discover what the future mayor is up to?”

“That’s uncertain, son, but I need you to get as much information as you can.” Daejung marched around and stopped in front of Johnny who was aware of every move the man could do. “You know your duty, right?”Johnny nodded and Daejung smirked. “We have everything we need to win this war and you’re my best soldier.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Stop with the sir thing, kids, I feel like I get ten years older whenever you all call me by that.” Daejung chuckled and offered Johnny his own glass. “I consider you three my own child. That’s why you suit our creed.”

“Blood is thicker than water…” Yuta chanted.

“...and we shall shed our blood…” Lucas continued.

“...to keep the water running.” Johnny completed and raised the cup, finishing the whiskey. It burned down his throat all the way down and no water could save him. 

At least, Johnny was sure he wouldn’t drown. 

When Kim Doyoung was a withdrawn but curious child, he would listen to his parents argue from the top of the stairs and absorb every declared word into his own thoughts. The endless arguments had tormented his peaceful nights and had kept him awake until the sun appeared in the sky. He couldn’t speak to anybody about it since Jeno was even younger than him and Ten was just a free kid as Doyoung should also have been. 

The incomprehension had lasted until he met Kun. 

It was on a briskly cold night of autumn the first time Doyoung had run away from the Kim mansion and had dashed through the streets filled with orange and caramel leaves. His feet only stopped when he was in front of the Han Fire restaurant. Overhead, he found the silhouettes of his friend in his room. Doyoung had never really understood how Kun got used to living in a small floor-through apartment above the busy street-level Chinese restaurant that belonged to his family. 

But every time Doyoung was welcomed in the Han’s after escaping his own house, he realized why Kun didn’t need a big and quiet place to live. There was no need to be attached to material things when he got something much more valuable than money: affection and love.

Something Doyoung only had learned with the interaction with the Han Family. 

Mr. Han and Ms. Han, as Doyoung liked to call them ever since he met Kun, were a middle-aged couple that had modern values and had a humble restaurant of their own. The parents of the family were quite acquainted with new subjects and didn’t let conservatism, common among people at their age, plant seeds in their liberal garden. Nothing else rather than four gracious children grew in this garden, surrounded by the discipline of fundamental rights that the outside world seemed to forget. 

The eldest, Kun and his twin sister, Dong, were supposed to be most mature but were quite the life of the party. Even though the twins were the tops of their classes, they lived and breathed for parties. Ever since high school, they were the first to confirm their presence and would always do extra hours helping their parents in the restaurant to get the night out. And all of these would always include Doyoung who had never been the number one fan of parties but had always loved the company of the twins. From social gatherings to late-night talks, Doyoung, Kun and Dong trusted each other and shared in whispers what screamed into their minds. 

Doyoung not only got closer to the twins but also to the Han family as a whole. Every Friday he stayed over, he would talk for hours in the kitchen with Sicheng, the middle child who was the best cook out of the four and enjoyed preparing some great Chinese dishes for the house guests. Actually, Doyoung was the first to meet and introduce Sicheng to Taeyong whose affection for the latter was so instantaneous that Doyoung liked to call him a friend's robber. 

And last but not least, the youngest son was more known as a friend of Jeno than as his. Renjun was the clever and astucious child from whom Jeno was inseparable ever since Doyoung took his brother for the first time at the Han’s house in one of those weekends where his parents were absent because of business - or any other serious matter Doyoung preferred to not know as a child. As soon as Jeno entered the apartment for the first time, his eyes glued to the boy a little smaller than him and they were connected at first sight. 

Later, when he and Renjun - and also Donghyuck since he was always following his cousin Jeno around - got closer to other kids and Doyoung and his friends met Taeil and Jungwoo, the Han house became the ideal spot to gather them all. And Doyoung, who had always been used to the silence, was introduced to loud chatters and vivid laughs in the space that endured on his memories as his safe place. 

It became such a usual routine that, when Doyoung woke up the morning after the whole chaotic night they had, he wasn’t surprised to find the Han’s crowded and buzzing. Mr. and Ms. Han was sitting on the red couch, next to Dong, trying to watch the morning news on a small TV, while Kun was helping Jisung and Taeil make some breakfast in the kitchen. At the same time, Jungwoo was slapping Jaemin’s arms to get up from Jeno’s lap and help him and Sicheng set the table, a scene that provoked Chenle’s ringing laugh and Renjun’s action on pushing Jaemin to the kitchen. 

“Stop dating you two we are here to eat, you had enough time to kiss yesterday.” Jungwoo squawked at the couple and Jaemin pouted as he was obliged to help. 

Doyoung stopped on his track, leaning on the door frame, and his giggle was enough to catch Jeno’s attention. 

“Hyung.” he got up and stared at Doyoung, before looking down. 

Doyoung himself didn’t turn his attention to anyone else besides his brother standing in front of him. He made a few steps and stood closer to him, tidying Jeno’s messy morning hair. “Good morning, Nono, did you sleep well?” he beamed at the younger who frowned and opened his mouth twice before saying.

“Huh yes, I guess so. What about you?”

“Slept like a baby.” Doyoung affirmed and Jeno nodded, still searching for something on his older brother’s expression. “What?”

“Are you not mad at me?” Jeno questioned and Doyoung sighed. 

“I still am and we will discuss this later but not now.” he explained and his brother agreed with him. He opened his arms and embraced Doyoung in a tight hug that made him slap Jeno’s back to let him go. “I can’t breath, goddammit.”

“This is part of my apologies.” Jeno explained. 

“I won’t excuse you if I get to the hospital for losing my capacity of breathing.”

“Oh that was dramatic.” Doyoung glared at Renjun who was now sitting next to Chenle, drinking some coffee but still listening to every word. In the same moment, Dong passed by the chairs and smacked his brother on the head. “Ouch, Dong.”

“This is for being where you shouldn’t, dumbass.”

“I already said I’m sorry and plus I know my way around.” Renjun defended himself.

Dong rolled her eyes. “You are just a kid, shut up and don’t steal Kun’s line.”

“I’m 21 already, stop babying me” Renjun cried out and Doyoung suppressed a giggle. “What now, Do?”

“I guess you should stop being dramatic, Jun.” Renjun stuck his tongue out and Doyoung ignored him, as he greeted the Hans and hugged Dong. 

“Tell me why exactly did you miss our Friday night out?”

Dong took the cups Jaemin was equilibrating out of his hands before they fell and put them on the table. “Well, I had this great date yesterday.”

“You had what?” Renjun, Chenle and Doyoung inquired at the same time, assembling the Dong protection squad and she sighed. 

“That’s none of your business but I was out and about with this great person and I don’t need you all to get worried about it. It was nothing but a fling.”

Kun arrived at the room with two plates full of pancakes, Taeil with jars of jams and Jisung with a proud smile. 

“Why do I feel like we are suddenly a white family?” Chenle asked. 

Jisung crossed his arms “Shut up and eat, it’s the only thing I know how to cook.”

They all were debating where they should sit as Taeil served the pancakes and Jungwoo kept asking someone to save him two pancakes, from the kitchen. A louder noise took over the place and they noticed it was the doorbell. Doyoung was the only one still standing and Kun, being busy helping Taeil, asked him to open the door since they were already waiting for some neighbor. 

Instead, Doyoung opened the door and came across who he didn’t think he would see so soon. 

“Ten?”

The man in front of him was wearing the same clothes from the other night but his preview makeup was nothing but smudges on his face. The shiny crop top was falling off his shoulders and Doyoung hadn’t noticed before that he was wearing black fishnet stockings and a tight leather skirt that seemed to be dirty. 

“Hi cousin” a third person greeted and just then Doyoung realized Donghyuck was with his brother waiting by the door. “I need to talk with the boys while you keep arguing, bye” he kissed his cousin on the cheek and Doyoung rolled his eyes as the younger got inside. 

He turned his attention to his older cousin who still hadn’t said a word. “What are you doing here?”

“I came here so we can talk. I heard Kun saying you were going to crash here after the whole Neo Zone incident.” Ten chuckled but stopped himself when he didn’t see his cousin doing the same. His words also got stuck when he saw Kun coming around.

“Chitapphon.”

“Han Kun.”

“It hurts to say this but you can come in if you want to.” Kun told him and he snorted. 

“Why would you be so hurt to have my great presence at your own house?” Ten teased. “Because I might get a look at your old room and see if I can find anything I can use against you?

“Because I have to be polite to you as you would be my guest.”

“Oh, so I insist on getting in.”

“You two stop.” Doyoung whined and took Ten by the arm. “Ten, you come with me but don’t say anything to him anymore. Kun, I’ll use your room to talk to him and you’ll eat your breakfast.”

They both accepted the truce terms - which would last half an hour - and Doyoung led Ten to his friend’s room. 

“You have 5 minutes to apologize, I'm really hungry.” Doyoung announced as he sat next to his cousin on Kun’s bed. 

Ten took Doyoung’s hands in his, putting on his lap, and slightly grinned. “You know I hate fighting with you, even if we do that all the time, huh?’ Doyoung nodded and Ten breathed deeply. “I go to Neo Zone to get my mind clear. I spend a good time there chatting with new people every Friday and dancing around. One day, I met the son of the owner and he was the best kisser and person I could ask for. We got pretty close and, well, I thought Neo Zone was the place I would feel safer. But I thought it would also be to the rest of the people in my life, until yesterday.”

“Yesterday, I noticed how I put my own brother and cousin in danger. Because to do what they want to, can have a lot of consequences I wasn’t thinking. So I did understand everything you said…”

“And I’m thankful for it.”   
  


“Let me finish.” Ten warned with an arched eyebrow and Doyoung silently agreed. “But I also understood everything you didn’t say. Do, I know why you did what you did and is still afraid of Jeno joining the group.”

Doyoung stared at his hands and closed his eyes.  _ Of course he understood,  _ Doyoung thought. He could never keep anything from Ten. 

“I don’t want him to drown in the same dream I did and wake up one day needing to let it go.” 

Ten squeezed his cousin’s hands. “I know but I think this can be different.”

“We don’t know.”

“We have to try, Doyoung. First, because it’s Jeno’s dream and we will make what we can to let it come true and not be forgotten” Ten asserted. “And second you have to let him live and fail and make the choices he wants. You can’t live for him.”

Doyoung exhaled deeply and didn’t notice the first tears rolling down his face. It was impossible to hold them - and to be honest, he was tired of being the strong one. “I don’t want him to suffer as I do.” 

Ten reached out for him, hugged him tightly and let Doyoung’s head lean against his chest. Listening to his cousin’s heartbeat, Doyoung understood what Ten meant by a safe place. 

He had never felt more secure than at that moment. 

  
  
  


Doyoung hated Sundays. 

Well, he hadn’t hated them when he was a small child who liked to be with his parents and his brothers every chance he could. But growing up being stuck inside of his father’s church every Sunday didn’t develop his love for that day, nor for the religion itself. 

Doyoung had a clear memory from the first time his father told him about the new church he was building and how he wanted all of the family to attend it every Sunday. Even though he was satisfied with the idea of seeing his cousins one more day of the week, Doyoung realized that wasn’t the place for him, not when the pastors would always make terrible comments that made Doyoung understand how his father’s mind worked - dreadfully, he must say. 

Doyoung hated Sundays because that was when he had to go to a place he didn’t want to and had to use his passion for a place and people he despised. His father hated the idea of Doyoung following the musical path but he made sure everyone in his church knew the boy who sings at the main service was his son. 

By all means, there he was. Another worship moment was over when Doyoung sat by the piano and Jeno followed him. His father was saying his farewells with his best-fabricated smile and his good manners and went straight to his sons after. 

Kim Jongsu unlaced the tie around his neck “Did you enjoy today’s ceremony, my sons?”

“Yes, father.” they answered in unison. 

“Good.” the man nodded and put his hands against the great black piano. “Were you out on Friday night?”

Jeno eyed up directly into Doyoung’s eyes and gulped. Doyoung, on the other hand, knew what had to be done. “We both were in Donghyuck's room, appa.”

“Don’t call me appa, Doyoung, I already told you we shouldn’t do that here.”

“I’m sorry,  _ father _ .“ Doyoung apologized and took a glimpse of his brother, scrubbing his sweaty hands on his tan pants. 

The man narrowed his eyes and examined Doyoung’s face. “What were you doing there so late?”

Doyoung shrugged and challenged his father’s look. “Just eating, talking and having normal fun, father. You can ask around if you don’t tr-”

“Do not say such a thing, my son. I do trust you.” Jongsu cut him out and stood behind his sons, patting their arms. “I just want you to also trust me, do you both understand?”

“Yes, father.” they answered one more time. 

The latter looked at his watch. “It’s time for us to go, do you want a drive back to the campus?”

“I would like to, dad.” Jeno replied and the man grinned. He got up from his seat and expected his brother to do the same. “Are you coming, Do?”

“I don’t know.” Doyoung whispered. “Dad, can I stay for a couple more minutes? I wanted to rehearse the last song again. I don’t think I know all the notes already.” 

“Yes, Doyoung, you shall do it.” Jongsu permitted and Doyoung silently thanked. “Do not forget to ask Choi to shut everything after you are done.” He bent over forward and whispered in Doyoung’s ear “Just don’t go and sing those damn disco songs again”

He agreed with a nod and watched his father and his brother making their way out of the church. When the timber front doors slammed with a clang, Doyoung was confined with the acoustic of a silent church, which was the best for his noisy thoughts. He couldn’t understand anything else but his mind reminding him he was not where he wanted to be. The church stage was nothing compared to the big stages where he wanted to perform. 

Doyoung was fond of music since he was 9 and his grandfather would play him the captivating tunes of The Supremes on the piano they had at their previous house. His grandmother would dance around even though she couldn’t quite understand the lyrics but language had never been a barrier to passion. His mind couldn’t catch a moment of that specific date that Doyoung was not smiling at his grandparents. 

Doyoung was 13 when he learned to play an entire song for the first time. His grandfather spent hours teaching him the notes of the peaceful “Close To You” by The Carpenters and he spent nights at his room memorizing the notes with his fingers playing an imaginary keyboard. When he finally picked up the exact tone his voice needed to be combined with the notes fixed on his mind, he played to his grandparents and observed their proud faces. 

Now, at age 23, Doyoung was sitting alone in front of a piano and the only way to reach his grandparents was by his own memory. And playing the same song they loved to hear, with his small performance to a crowd of 2, was how he approached the most important people of his life.

His fingers paced through the keys and his voice hit the notes with his graceful chords. Doyoung sang and ignored where he was, picturing the living room of his grandparents’ house. “ _ Why do stars fall down from the sky every time you walk by? _ ” he grinned at the clear images on his mind and felt the waves of joy taming his body and soul. “ _ Just like me, they long to be close to you.”  _

Doyoung closed his eyes and the melody echoed in the large room, empty of people but full of feelings. He didn’t care if his father would come back and ask him to stop singing anything that didn’t mention God. He didn’t care for overthinking Jeno’s own life nor for his argument with Taeyong. He didn’t care and he repeated this like a mantra while working his way through the last part of the song. The finishing notes softened his unsteady heart and restored his inner peace. 

This only lasted a second or two.

A loud clap prevailed and rang in the building and Doyoung quickly deviated his attention. He found the tall troublemaker whose shiny honey eyes attracted and capture Doyoung’s, and he didn’t brush off. “I didn’t know our little prince had this great talent.”

The man ambled towards the small stage and climbed the steps that lead to the piano Doyoung couldn’t abandon. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Seo.”

Seo leaned against the ebony piano lid and snickered. “That is something we can change.”

“How did you get in?” 

“Relax, sweetheart, the door was unlocked.” Seo answered and his smirk “I didn’t even need to trespass to see you.”

Doyoung tilted his head and snorted. “And why exactly do you want to see me? We have nothing to talk about.”

“Oh, I think we have a lot to talk about” Seo disagreed and Doyoung tightened his eyesight. “Don’t you want to know about your brother’s new goal?” Doyoung ran out of words and stumbled with his own tongue. “You seemed to be so familiar with the words a few seconds ago, why are you so quiet now,  _ Doie _ ?

Doyoung sighed and crossed his arms. “Jeno will not be on your crew, forget it.”

“Are you sure?”

“I won’t let him.” Doyoung guaranteed and stepped closer to the man who was supporting his weight on his right arm while analyzing Doyoung from head to toe. In fact, Doyoung was afraid to be too close to that man and ended up punching his terrible grin out of his mouth. 

Seo arched his eyebrows. “Do you think you have the power to stop Jeno from making his dream come true?”

“I’ll try my best to do it.” Doyoung challenged.

Seo understood with a nod of his head and straightened his posture. “Wouldn’t you accept the proposal to fulfill your dream, Doie?”

“Don’t call me that, asshole.”

“Focus, Doie, we are not here to discuss our relationship.” Seo sneered and Doyoung breathed in and out so he wouldn’t do anything he shouldn’t. “What if  _ I _ made you one proposal for you? Just like the one I made for Jeno.”

Doyoung didn’t answer and didn’t drop his look from Seo’s. He intensified, reinforced and sustained his stare - but Doyoung would never admit he wasn’t doing this because he was too proud of backing off. Deep down, he wanted that to be true since he always had control of every game he played. Yet, Doyoung couldn’t take his eyes off Seo’s because they were too electrifying and Doyoung had already been knocked down by the first shock. 

“Neo Zone will host a dance competition on Friday. The winning pair will have one special dinner with the one and only Mister Sehun.” Seo informed and detected Doyoung’s raven pupils dilate. “If we dance and win, you’ll get a chance to show your talent to a huge producer, and you will also let Jeno into my crew.”

“Wh-why would I do that?” Doyoung stuttered and noticed the short distance between their bodies. 

Seo shrugged. “It’s a one-time offer.” He scanned Doyoung through his eyelashes and smiled. “If you lose that will totally be my fault and then you will have the right to not let Jeno follow me around.”

Doyoung felt his throat burning and his stomach turning over. “I don’t think I…”

“I know you want it, Doie” Seo whispered and backed up. He adjusted his black jacket and took the steps down again, before turning around and walking backward while shouting. “Friday around ten, sweetheart, we are gonna win this!”

“I didn’t say I was going.” Doyoung exclaimed. 

“I’ll be waiting for you.” Seo blew him a kiss and reversed his feet to make his way out. 

Doyoung knew he wasn’t joking. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here they come!
> 
> if you want to talk to me you can always send me an ask on my curious cat or leave a comment here!  
> thank you for reading and have a nice week.
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/jsuhshine) | [fic playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Ranv6Eve7mb9JLLEwp8RW?si=-9MIi8PkRYiyXYEU5ZBFgA)


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